Getting Rid of Guilt

In order to fully enjoy life you have to be free.
In order to be free you have to rid yourself of guilt.


Many women are riddled with guilt.  Guilt happens when their is a conflict of interest between what a person wants and what they feel is the right thing to do.
People on a diet feel guilty eating a doughnut.
Many Mothers may feel guilt at enjoy themselves as they see this as a sefish act instead of as a giving one.  In order to be a complete individual a Mother needs to give to herself or else her own energy reserves will deplete. 
Mothers are often like candles that burn brightly on both ends, eventually she will burn out.
How do we recognize guilt and eliminate it?

Guilt is easy to recognize since it is almost an automatic response to doing something that is supposed to make you feel good but has the opposite effect.  A mother going out and buying a new pair of shoes may feel guilty if she comes home and finds that her child suffered so much a scraped knee.
How should she approach her feelings?
Firs realize guilt is a way to self punish.  Forgive yourself.  It most likely it not as bad as it seems.  As long as your child is looked after and cared for it is okay to enjoy life.  Buy yourself a yogurt, dress, or go out for a night with friends.  It will become easier with repeated exposure.
 Then act in a kind way to yourself.    It can be hard to forgive yourself but it is possible.

Do not get caught up in the insanity of trying to become the perfect mother.  You will be driven insane chasing the brass ring.  You are already the perfect mother.  Relax and enjoy life.

Let yourself be free.
Hark the Spark.

Life After Baby

There is an aspect of life that is often over looked and that is life after baby.  After the excitement of pregnancy and even after the excitement of the newborn comes...the rest of your life.

All too often I see women stop their lives completely and absorb themselves into their child.
They forget who they are completely.

They begin to suffer depression or anxiety.
Their marriage suffers.
Their career suffers or ends.
Friendships are neglected.

It does not need to be this way.  This is a very unfulfilling way to live and can cause resentment in the long run towards the child.  Because the child will grow up and leave the nest. 
Then what are you left with?
Empty nest syndrome.

It is important to not forget who you are and activities that you loved before pregnancy. 
A child will benefit from a mother who has interests and activities outside of them.  A child can learn from a mother who enjoys life.  They will learn to enjoy life as well.

It can be very hard to find the status quo and continue on with life after baby.  I always enjoyed following Marilyn Manson when he goes on tour and that activity is harder to do after baby but not impossible.  Other Mothers out there might enjoy something as simple as jogging or hiking for a couple hours every day or imbibing with their friends at a bar once a week. 
Do not stop these activities.  Find a way to continue them.

There will be judgments from other mothers or women who will say you are neglectful but the truth is you are not being neglectful of the child as long as the child is cared for in your brief absence. This is not you abandoning your child.

This blog will become a place to learn how to keep your individuality while raising a family.

The activities you do to stay sane are your inner spark.  Listen to it.  Let the guilt go.
Hark the Spark!